Monday 12 May 2014

The long awaited Q&A session

Someone once said I should do a Q&A session or something but to be honest, reading from my Formspring inbox from 2010………

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Question: how is everyone today? :)

Answer: I don't know but if you hold on a second I'll just ask the 6 billion people in the world for you

 

Q: IM A FAAAAG AND I LOVE MATTY <3 ;)

A: I think you're mistaking me for someone who gives a shit

 

Q: you love your mom send this to 20 people , one girl didn't and her mom died 365 days later I love my mom sorry I can't ignore it. ♥

A: AHAHAHAHAHAHA, good grief, people can really be idiots. Her mother dies and the cause of her death is because she didn't pass this pointless chain thing on? I don't think so

 

Q: how many bitches do you know?

A: Just your mother

 

Q: What is your favourite thing to eat for: Breakfast? Lunch? Dinner? Dessert? Snacks? :)

A: Your mum. For all of them

 

Q: What's one thing I could do that would make you happy? (:

A: <answer deleted on insistence of my lawyer>

 

Q: Give a couple of your favorite sounds. :D

A: OOHH DOOCCCTTORR, HARRDERR, BEEETTERR, FAASSSTTERR!

and

You don't have AIDS

 

Q: Men are born between a woman's legs and spend the rest of their lives trying to get back in between them, because there's no place like home lmao thoughts?

A: I think I'll wear blue today

 

Q: What are YOUR first date don'ts?

A:

1- Don't tell your date that you're a convicted sex offender
2- Don't say "Can we cut to the chase and have sex now"
3- Don't bring your mum along with the intention of having a threesome with your date

 

Q: When was the last time you lied and to whom and why?

A: Just now, to you and for shits and giggles. I didn't have sex with your mother

 

Q: Who was your first crush?

A: Your mum, she was a feisty mare

 

Q: Tell me about something you would happily do again?

A: OH GOD, YOUR MOTHER, SHE WAS A WILD BEAST IN THE SACK

 

Q: When and how was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt?

A: Just now. I really think you are annoying.

 

Q: How big is your bed?

A: Big enough that there was nowhere for me to get on once your mum was in it

 

Q: how can you tell if a hug is a romantic hug or just a friendly hug?

A: If the guy gets an erection then it's probably tipping away from "friendly"

 

Q: I hate my life. I left my cell phone at the court house this morning.

A: That'll teach you not to rape orphans now won't it

 

Q: I caught you poking your bum the other day. You disgust me. love from Mum. <3

A: Oh.....kay o.O

 

Q: Have you ever purposely tried to get yourself/a girl pregnant without telling the other person?

A: Yeah, it's actually quite a funny story. See one day I was out with this girl she said she hated me but I convinced her to have sex and I poked a hole in the condom to purposely get her pregnant and ruin her life. Nine months later, she had you and I was long gone. Good times =D

 

…….Yeah this Q&A session………That’s probably not a good idea.

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